Ze zijn 3!

 

Perth Children's Occupational Therapy

dnesSpoortu341hc3m5ma065974tggclm58m0t1fcf55hl1lgu7mtgtgc6hi  · 

REASONS YOUR 3-YEAR-OLD HAS DIFFICULTY SHARING

WHAT PEOPLE THINK:

• Lack of socialisation

People often assume that kids don’t share because they haven’t spent enough time with others. But sharing isn’t just about practice and exposure—it’s about being developmentally ready. Some kids need more time to grasp social norms. And who do kids learn to share from? Older children or adults—people who already know how to share, not other 3-year-olds!

• Lack of discipline

Parents may feel pressured to force sharing, especially in public, but doing so before a child is ready can create negative feelings about sharing. It’s better to guide gently and wait until they’re emotionally prepared—usually after age 4.

• They’re an only child

While siblings provide more opportunities for practicing sharing, being an only child isn’t to blame for a 3-year-old not sharing. Every child develops at their own pace, and the idea that only children are less generous is a misconception.

• They’re rude/selfish

A 3-year-old isn’t "selfish" for not sharing—they’re just figuring out how to balance their own needs with others’. Concepts like fairness and empathy develop later.

• It hasn’t been modelled enough

While seeing adults share is helpful, sharing is a developmental milestone. Kids need to learn emotional regulation and understanding others’ perspectives. Even if it hasn’t been modelled at home, they can still learn with time and guidance.

WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING:

• They’re 3!

At this age, toddlers are still developing a sense of self and an understanding of others' needs. They’re in the "egocentric phase” of development, meaning they see the world mainly from their own perspective. They may not understand that others have different wants, which can make sharing feel confusing and unnecessary. And if a child shares only because they’ve been told to, that’s not true sharing.

TAKEAWAY:

Sharing is a developmental stage. There are ways to support it, but it largely takes its own course, so let’s not blame parents for not taking enough action (or not having enough children…)